Disclaimer: I have not broken up with Mark & he has not done anything (drastic enough) to break my heart.
This is really more for my ladies who have jerk-boyfriends that seem to think that to be a man – all they need is a penis & an unaccounted for ego.
Ladies who have fallen in love with a man before would know that there are countless facets of being a man. Sadly enough, somehow it seems that we females are more biologically inclined to fall in love without reason.
Which really is a bummer. That’s when your heart & mind simply cannot agree with each other and they go on this whole war.
I’m the kind who is a real sucker for what my heart says – but the sad thing is, usually the mind is right because of all the logical deductions. I’ve been there, done it, burnt myself & even bought the t-shirt.
So sometimes we ladies end up with a man who falls short of ‘ideal’. We don’t really expect the man we love to look like an Abercombie and Fitch model.
I can so see some friends I know drooling right now.
We also don’t usually expect them to go kissing our entire arm half the time like the Addam’s Family husband & wife.
|Addam’s Family Gomez & Morticia
However there are some really basic requirements which the men still fail to live up to, so we usually end up heartbroken.
So here are some things which I’d like to share with my ladies out there
This is usually the hardest. Women generally think that our judgments are hardly ever wrong… Female instinct, somewhat?
We always think that things aren’t as bad as they seem. Or rather, we want to believe that.
Sometimes you just have to surrender to the pain & let it pass. It is just a phase you’d have to go through in order to move on. If you sweep it under the carpet, one day a huge wind is going to come & it’s going to dirty everything.
2. Be glad that you can still feel the pain
Either that, or you’re an incredibly intelligent animal!
…or an alien that has gotten access to Earth’s internet connection.
…or a machine! Which would usually mean this blog entry doesn’t really apply to you…? Unless you’ve been installed with the ‘falling in love’ function…
You should practically bask in the fact that you could still feel pain.
Trust me when I say this – the worst feeling is not pain, but numbness.
Once you’ve gotten to being numb, it is near impossible to reverse it. You have ‘uninstalled’ your ability to fall in love & feel the pain (but also the joy as well). I think it is a defense mechanism – but sometimes it’s better to be exposed.
That way, then life will be that more meaningful. Don’t you agree? 🙂
3. Realise it’s him, not you
Like I said above, “ladies who have jerk-boyfriends“. This does not apply if you’ve been a bitch, okay? And don’t pretend that you don’t know, because most females know when they’re bitchy. (and don’t go deluding yourself that you’re not among the most females here either)
I’m female & I’m all for sisterhood, but if a lady has been terrible to her man – then I’d say it’s her, not him.
If he’s the mean one – then don’t go blaming yourself!
Open your eyes & see how noble you’ve been to actually take that stray beast in. So you did your bit of charity, you’ve clocked in some good-karma hours – time to let yourself live in peace!
I’ve seen countless ladies blaming themselves when the relationship falls into shambles, even though her boyfriend is so obviously a human with a baboon’s brain.
Oh wait, did I just insult baboons?
Oops. Terribly sorry.
The man cheated on her, “It’s my fault! I didn’t want to give him sex!!”
The man is nonchalant towards her, “He’s just trying to be cool & impress me.”
The man says he doesn’t have time for her, “I’m terrible that I’m not willing to stick around & support him while he works for our future!”
*rolls eyes again*
If the man cheats on you because you don’t want to give him sex… Well, I’m sorry. I missed the part that you were his lover – not just your pussy.
If the man is nonchalant towards you, then why are you putting in the effort to continue deluding yourself? In a relationship, two parties have to have some sort of interest in each other. If he’s not interested in you, then why is he even interesting to you?
If he doesn’t have time for you – usually with the excuse that he’s working hard to build a good future… That’s all fine & good. However if he doesn’t at least put in any time with you – then chances are… You’re not really part of his future plans. If you were, he’d spend time working on the relationship as well.
4. Don’t demean yourself
Ladies, I know that sometimes being heartbroken just makes us look desperate.
Believe me, I know. Not very proud of it.
A female after a breakup from a relationship which she felt could’ve lasted is always vulnerable
& maybe even a tad desperate
Thus many would know that females go through this rebound period of about 3-6months, depending on how bad the hurt was.
During which, she usually suffers from some inferiority complex, vulnerability & is constantly seeking for someone to make her feel like she isn’t as bad as how her ex makes her feel.
So I always think that in this point – it pays to have trusted friends. Really, it does.
Saves you from being a real whore, breaking innocent hearts & probably even AIDS.
The only assurance that we really want is from our ex, but we constantly search for others’ as substitutes. It is like filling up this abyss of insecurity which was created by a jerk.
Why sacrifice yourself because of what he did to you? No sense in doing that, babe.
You’re worth more now, because you no longer have that burden on your shoulders. 😉
We as human beings like to always turn around & see how far we’ve gone.
All fine & good.
Just remember to only take a look, but don’t go analysing the footsteps.
If he didn’t want to be a part of your future, he sure as hell isn’t worth to be in any part of your future. And that includes your thoughts.
So flip to a new page – it’s a new chapter.
Sure, your history is still part of your book at the end of your life… but now time’s a wasting!
Would you like your content page to be:
Chapter 1 – Loving him
Chapter 2 – Losing him
Chapter 3 – Lost him
Chapter 4 – Missing him
Chapter 5-100 – Still missing him
Chapter 101 – Dying of old age already
If you lost him, means that life has better plans for you.
I didn’t say life has someone better for you – because I’ve meant single people that are the happiest & most carefree I know!
Not encouraging people to be single here!! The Singapore government would frown on this…. I’m just saying we’re all very different from each other.
If life gives you someone better – aren’t you glad you forgot him?
If life gives you something better – aren’t you still glad you forgot him?