So things have been a little crazy of late.
Not many people know about it… but yes, things have been mad crazy.
I have finally reached my breaking point.
But all I can say is – thank you, from the bottom of my heart… to those who held my hand through this ordeal.
Honestly, no one has the obligation to stand by me when I have so many issues.
Mark doesn’t have to – he could just run away & find a simpler girlfriend who won’t make him run into a frenzy all the time.
Lily doesn’t have to – she could just find another bestie who will love her regardless of all her actions, without requiring so many favours.
Ker doesn’t have to – over a decade of friendship should be sacrificed if it only causes more pain.
Clive doesn’t have to – he has tonnes of friends around him, I just make him upset whenever he hears me cry over the phone.
…and this is just to name a few, whom I know have been deeply affected every time they know something has happened.
I’m truly sorry.
I really am.
The reason why I’m posting this bleak entry is so that those people who love me and want the best for me know that I cherish their love.
I think I carried out my actions a little too late, guys. I’m sorry.
Even though I took the big step to improve things, I might not be able to last till the time I recuperate.
I’m very flattered whenever any of you say that I’m the strongest girl you know; after you heard my story – and I’m a miracle from God considering I’m still alive.
But I’m sorry… even miracles disappear.
I’m sorry, but I tried. I really did.
Things have just gotten too hard for me right now.
I’ve come to realise that everyone else is really just support for me to fight – at the end of the day, the battle is still mine to win.
And I’m down, guys.
Truth is, I’ve been down for a really long time. I just tried to make everything seem all peachy, so I won’t upset you all.
I guess you should know that through this – I do love you all. 🙂 Very much.
And if I don’t make it to see my recovery.. Well, at least keep those happy memories of me, okay?
Remember me as the person who you felt was worthy of you sticking by regardless of all the pain.
Please don’t remember me for who I am turning into right now… She’s scary. And she’s nothing like me right now.
I tried. I really did.
If I really die in this battle… I love you all, guys.
And I’m really, really, truly sorry.