Top 3 Worst Pick-Ups

Before I start this entry, please note the following:

1. I don’t mean to come across as some obnoxious bitch.

2. This entry is really just for fun and based on memory.

3. I don’t get hit on all the time, but I do get my share.

Every time I get hit on, I’ll be sharing it with some of my closest friends and it has come to a point – whereby I thought it would make a rather interesting blog entry. ;P

There are some pick-ups that I have remembered for the longest time, simply because they weren’t the typical – “Hello, can I have your number?”

I’m not going to leak out any sort of information I might have of the people who have used those pick-ups; so don’t try prying them from me. As much as I find some of them pure silly, I still respect their privacy.

So let’s start with…

#3: “I love this book too!” 

I used to be a Pure Literature student back in school, so I’m the sort that always has an unfinished book in my bag ready for me to read. It is pretty much as must-have for me. Every time I finish a book, I simply must go get another one.

Back in school, my favourite literature book wasn’t the classics like To Kill a Mocking Bird or MacBeth. Rather, I really liked this compilation of short stories called – “A Sense of Belonging”.

So one day I was browsing in this large bookstore alone and running my brown eyes through titles of the books seated on the shelves.

Even though I already know the book – once I saw the familiar book cover of “A Sense of Belonging”, I couldn’t help but just pick it up on reflex. I ran my fingers down the cover as I fondly remembered the stories inside.

Just as I was smiling to myself…

Mr. Pick-Up #3: That is a really good book, isn’t it?

I was a tad startled.

Me: Yes, it is.

Mr. Pick-Up #3: I love the book too! It is so hard to find a girl who loves this book.

Me: Really? I studied this in a girls’ school and plenty of my classmates enjoyed it as well.

Mr. Pick-Up #3: Well, it really evokes emotion doesn’t it?

Me: -already lost interest in the man, put the book back where I took it, turned to smile and walked the other way-

Mr. Pick-Up #3: The first few chapters were quite hard for me to grasp… but I got a better understanding of the characters towards the later parts.

Me: …”First few chapters”?

Mr. Pick-Up #3: Yes! When the author was still developing the characters one-by-one…

Me: Well, you said you loved the book?

Mr. Pick-Up #3: Yes, it is beautiful like you.

Me: Uh huh… So I assume that you have read it?

Mr. Pick-Up #3: Of course!

Me: Well then, I hope that your little brain is then competent enough to know that the book is a short story anthology. In fact, it is written right there on the cover.

Probably because of his bruised ego, he started insulting me.

Irritated and disgusted, I just turned my heel – disregarding his snide remarks.

I’m sorry; but snide remarks coming from someone with such low competency, simply does not seem to affect me at all. And it would be an utter waste of my time to bother retaliating. *shrugs*

#2: “I can’t use my own mobile, can I use yours to make a phone call?” 

One day, I was playing on my mobile phone while my friend was taking a shit in the washroom.

Mr. Pick-Up #2: Hey… Excuse me?

Me: Oh, hey. Yea?

Mr. Pick-Up #2: I need to make a really important phone call, but I can’t use my own mobile… Can I use yours to make a phone call?

Me: Oh, sure. *immediately exits my game; not like I was hitting a high score anyway…*

Mr. Pick-Up #2: Thank you so much! *dials number, puts my phone to his ear for a few seconds, hangs up the call, returns it*

Me: No answer?

Mr. Pick-Up #2: I guess it is alright now! Thanks. You’re an angel!

Me: Haha! No worries. Always glad to help if I could. 🙂

So it was that for a while – when my friend came out, I told her what happened.

And I totally got chided for being a gullible fool. Apparently, he could have…

a. Run off with my phone and I won’t be able to catch him. (Yea, I won’t even if he gave me a head start…)

b. Call some virus-infected number that would transfer his bill charges to me! (Totally freaked me out there!)

However, neither of her predictions happened.

Instead I received a text message about 10-20 minutes later.

SMS: Hello angel. Thank you for helping me. I hope I’m not scaring you, I used your phone to call my own so that I could know your number.

I showed the SMS to my friend who burst out laughing and went, “You have all these morons in your life! Why?!”

So I sent this…

SMS-Reply: Hello devil. Yes, you did scare me. Now my turn to scare you. If you don’t leave me alone, I will give your number to the police and some other friends. By then, I will no longer be an angel. I’ll be your worst nightmare.

Never heard from him again.

Wahahahaha!

#1: “We went to secondary school together!” 

Okay, this has been and always will be my favourite one.

So I was seated one day in this cafe, waiting for my mother to arrive.

Mr. Pick-Up #1: Joanne…?? Is that you?

Me: Erm… No.

Mr. Pick-Up #1: Oh gosh. I’m sorry! Actually, I forgot your name.

Me: No worries. I don’t even know you to begin with…

Mr. Pick-Up #1: It’s me, Lucas! We went to secondary school together!

Me: *stared at him till my eyeballs almost popped* Wow. They did a great job on the surgery table! I swear I could not tell you used to study with me in CHIJ! (Convent; girls’ school)

Mr. Pick-Up #1 scampered off, with his face flushed red.

Hahaha!!

It was downright hilarious.

Some have said I have a tendency to be mean to those boys who have interest in me.

Hey, I am flattered that they are interested in me. I’m just easily offended at how they express it.

I guess I still prefer the ol’ methods… Like, “Hey, can I have your number?”

Accompanied with a heart-stopping, genuine smile.

No need to do all those complex nonsense… I usually get irritated and bored very quickly.

Alas, no point anyhow.

Nowadays, when someone asks for my number now – I’ll recite random eight numbers… then say, “Oh my gosh! So sorry! I think I gave you my boyfriend’s number instead. Oh well, you can still contact me via him.”

Haha!

So if any guys are reading this – those methods might be the worst to me. But some of my friends actually found them rather romantic!

Go figure!

To each his own, I guess. 😉

Hope you all had fun reading this post!

Love, 
G.