Body Contour Tried To FORCE Me…

I’m barely out of bed, didn’t even go for my morning pee yet and I’m already annoyed so bad.

In a nutshell: I was offered a free trial for some massage at this spa called Body Contour, I agreed to it at first. Then after a while I decided against it and told them to cancel my appointment. Then the lady on the phone told me she’s FORCING me to go down because I already agreed to the free trial.

So here’s how it all went down…

One fine day, at about 5 o’clock- I just finished a rather long & tedious phone call. During this call, I realised I missed a number of calls… Yes, it was that long. Almost about 1.5 hours. My phone felt like it was literally on fire.

So dutifully, I called back each & every person- even those with numbers that I don’t have as contacts. One of which was this diabolical spa called Body Contour.

I honestly forgot how she said she got my contact, but she went on to chirpily tell me…

Lady: You get to choose between 2 services for a free trial at our spa! 

Honestly it was extremely enticing when I heard it because of the phone call previously and she mentioned a massage. I love massages! So without much hesitation, I made an appointment.

However there were clauses to me accepting this offer- I had to be 25-years-old and above, and working.

And she went on to say (in a rather scripted manner) about how there are absolutely NO OBLIGATIONS whatsoever to buy anything from their spa- but I simply won’t regret the one hour that I spend with them.

Seriously, whatever.

I’m in marketing- I know all of this bullshit. It’s quite literally bullshit. Everyone wants a sale at the end of the day.

I made the appointment about 2 days later, but in the end I realised I had important things to attend to- so when she called to confirm my appointment, I told her I’d have to cancel or postpone.

Lady: Ma’am, you don’t have to feel obligated or anything. This is just a free trial! 

Me: I understand. But I won’t be able to make it. Please cancel my appointment. 

Lady: I already prepared your room and therapist for you! 

Okay, seriously. What?! My appointment isn’t until the following day in the afternoon. Are you telling me that you already laid out the bed nicely and my therapist is waiting for me inside the room for the next 24 hours?

So anyway, I assumed that she put it across wrongly given that her English doesn’t seem that great. So I assumed what she meant was she reserved a room for me and arranged for a therapist as well.

Me: I’m very sorry, but I won’t be able to make it. (Honestly, the plans I had going on obviously took precedence over your free trial! I’m sorry, but isn’t it your job anyway to handle such situations?)

Lady: How about we postpone your appointment?

I was very unwilling because of how pushy she was- IMAGINE; she is already is this pushy over the phone. In real life, she might just have some special shovel to dig money out of me.

I didn’t want to be rude or anything, so I just said…

Me: Call me another time. Maybe I can find another date. 

Lady: Okay. I will call you tomorrow. 

Me: Okay. 

Lady: PLEASE ANSWER MY CALL!!! (I’m not kidding, she actually raised her voice.)

Me: -silent- (I was actually quite stunned.)

Lady: Hello??? Miss??

Me: Okay… 

Lady: Thank you for promising me that. 

I swear she sounded borderline psychotic. It was freaky.

And true to her word, she called me this morning. I give her ‘A’ for persistence. Honestly, I would’ve gone for the free trial… but she was sounded simply sick in the head! Yikes!

Lady: Hello, Miss Geraldine?

Me: Yes. This is Body Contour, right? (I was already a little wary… She really scared me.)

Lady: Yes! (Somehow sounded really happy that I actually remembered her. You’re impressionable, lady. I’ll give you that.) So have you checked your schedule to see when you can make it? 

Me: Y’know I think I’m going to have to give your free trial a miss.

Lady: I understand it is very easy for you to simply cancel, miss. But please understand that we put in effort to prepare everything for you!

Me: I understand… But I wouldn’t want the free trial. Thank you. 

Lady: Ma’am, this is entirely free. You are not obligated to anything. I’m sure that you are able to make up your own decisions for yourself as you have a mind of your own. All you need to bring down is your IC, no money is involved! After you’re done with the trial, we won’t ever call you again. We will delete your information from our system. That is how we work. 

Me: (At this point, I was more pissed than scared of this crazy bitch.) Okay, since you say that I am able to make my own decisions- my decision is I don’t want to go for the free trial. 

Lady: Ma’am. We have put in the effort for your appointment already! We also have a licensed therapist for you! There is simply no obligation involved! 

Me: Hey, aren’t you making me feel obligated right here anyway? 

Lady: Ma’am, when my colleague (Liar! It was YOU who called!) called to schedule an appointment with you, did she force you to make an appointment?

Me: No, she didn’t. 

Lady: Then you should come down for the appointment.

Me: I told you that I want to cancel my appointment. Why are you forcing me? 

Lady: No, ma’am. I will not force you to do anything. But I am forcing you to come down for the free trial.

Me: No, thanks. Bye. 

Seriously, man. WHAT THE F**K!!!

I didn’t know anything about Body Contour initially, but now just the name itself makes me cringe. Did too much contouring happen to that particular staff of yours that her brain went whack?

I might have gotten the conversations wrong here & there, but I’m fully certain she said “BUT I’M FORCING YOU TO COME DOWN FOR THE FREE TRIAL.”

Okay, Body Contour – I checked out your website and thought of you to be quite a legit and posh spa, but your staff is the deal-breaker.

You probably did the good choice on investing on a great web designer, but the person you put on the telephone is downright repulsive.

First off- she never asked the reason as to why I’d want to cancel. She simply didn’t care! All she wanted was to (literally) FORCE me down to your spa to do this free trial.

Secondly- Stop with the NO-OBLIGATION crap. Lets not kid ourselves here, we all know what free trials are for. I’ve been to too many of them. At the end of the day, you’re running a business- you want sales. Therefore these free trials are to lure people into your spa for better chances of sales. Don’t give me the bullshit about how this free trial is entirely for my enjoyment sake. Your staff made me feel fucking obligated just over a free trial! I cringe at imagining how she will be when I’m there. I imagine that during the massage, I’ll be lectured on the benefits of the service and how I’m in dire need of it! And then a heap of packages will be shoved into my face and I might not even be allowed to leave till I buy something.

Thirdly- You actually need to FORCE people into going for your free trial?? Are your services that bad? It’s free! But you still need to shove it down people’s throats.

I’m sorry, maybe not all your staff is like that- I certainly hope not.

But you can bet that I certainly won’t be paying Body Contour a visit ever. And won’t be recommending you to my friends either.

As of now, I’ll be ignoring rejecting phone calls from this number: +65 6885 9854

Lest I get more psychotic bullshit again.

Hmm… Maybe that’s how your whole business works? You stress people out like mad on the telephone first… Then when they come over, they cannot help but feel relaxed anyway!

Maybe you’ll have more success forcing others to go for your beauty services, but not me; you called the wrong girl, bitch.

XOXO, G.