Through all my years, people would often say I’m an idealist – I tend to view the world using fairy tale filters, especially when it comes to love.
However I’ll be fully honest with you people and say that it is purely a defence mechanism.
The fact is…
1. Your Disney’s Fairy Tale “Happily Ever After” Does NOT Exist
I don’t mean to blame it on Disney… But in my opinion, if you have the power to influence young minds like that – maybe a tinge of reality will be useful.
Most of us grew up with all those princess stories of being a damsel in distress, a dashing prince comes along to save you and ta-daaaa!!! You both live happily ever after because there are no problems whatsoever from there on somehow.
Y’see – most of the time no one comes to save you.
Because the pure and simple fact is – we are ALL in need of saving. (No religious connotations intended) Each of us are stuck in our towers of issues & baggage. We all scream & shout for help, but no one is coming because they’re busy screaming & shouting for help as well.
I don’t mean to sound bleak. The underline thing is, you have to rescue yourself.
2. A Love Where No One Gets Hurt Does NOT Exist
Like I said before, we all come with our issues & baggages.
In physics, there is a theory about how when two things are close together – they will cause collateral damage to each other. They don’t mean to hurt each other, it’s just inevitable.
And if you look at it, causing hurt to each other can be a good thing – it’s a sure fire sign that both of you are emotionally close enough to each other to get hurt by the other. But don’t be an ass and just go hurting the other party on purpose.
Because like when your skin gets burned, your instant natural reaction is to back off and keep away. And as much as you love someone, if he/she keeps on hurting you – you just keep on backing away.
And this distance grows like a weed. And the worst part is, sometimes you just don’t see how far you’ve pushed someone you care about away till you can no longer feel them – because they’re no longer there.
3. You Will Be Smart NOT To Choose The One That Makes Your Heart Skip A Beat
This applies especially to girls.
My grandma told me before when I was little, “Always be with the one who loves you more than you love him.”
It might sound selfish, but it’s really better. Because girls tend to reciprocate affection – she could be moved, she could feel gratitude, she could actually really love another merely by efforts put in.
I loved someone immensely before; so much so I didn’t mind that I obviously cared for him a lot more. Then I got burned. So I learned.
It’s like the desirable candy you want to keep on eating, but for obvious reasons – you just shouldn’t. It simply doesn’t provide you with enough nutrients to get through life! You need someone who is more like rice with vegetables and all that balanced diet jazz.
I’m not discouraging you to love someone. You should. It’s a wonderful experience in life. You haven’t lived till then.
I’m just saying that love isn’t just about fluttering hearts, crazy blushes and hot sex. It’s more about being with someone who you can actually envision growing old with. Means fighting over which brand of sugar to use, smelling each others farts (unknowingly & VERY unwillingly), sex isn’t just about pleasure anymore, letting the other see your life’s ugliness and all the inconveniences it’ll cause… The list is endless.
Passion dies down. But love prevails.