Baring My Soul On Why Announcing My Engagement Was SO Difficult

Mark and I have been dating practically since the pleistocene  times; people just say we’re practically married.

Well, we almost really are married now.

Mark proposed about a whole month back in Japan. (Read post here!) But I didn’t make it public, for one very simple reason…

I myself couldn’t accept the fact.

It might sound stupid to so many people – but it’s really how I’m wired.

Y’see, my daddy passed away when I was young. And I’ve gotten to accept that people die and leave.

And then my mom was trying so hard to find someone else to replace her husband, it was like she didn’t want me unless I came along with a father. So I got to accept that I’m not enough for even the person that was supposed to love me unconditionally.

So the underline was – It freaked me out that someone would voluntarily want to be part of my life till death does us part, that such an amazing person would say that I’m more than enough for him to love and to hold.

It was quite a huge thing for me.

Deep down I knew that Mark loves me immensely and unconditionally.
I kid not about the unconditionally. I can fart and burp at the same time… The man still finds me adorable and kisses my forehead. 😌 And don’t even get me started on my tantrums. And he was the one who pulled me out when I went through a whopping double depression. (Yup, not one but two types of depression at the same time. My psychiatrist said I’m an overachiever.)

But somewhere at the back of my head, just like with everyone else, I always expect people to leave.

Finally after a month, I decided it was time to announce publicly! So I posted this on social media, my phone started beeping shortly after with heaps of love and congratulations! Thank you! 😚

facebook, selfie, love, engaged, marriage, ring
This post had already been edited. Removed the part that said, “Only told close friends (you know who you are!), who showed nothing but love & support! Thank you!!!

And through this announcement, I found true friends that will stand by me through it all. 💕 I cannot imagine how lucky I really am. Thank you so much for reminding me that you still love me, even though we got too busy with work.

All these immense amount of love make me so unbelievably happy and stronger! Thank you!

There are some obstacles along the way, I’ve been warned. 😎 But I’m going to take them on like a badass bitch. Wish me luck!

I’ll write another post in a bit on how Mark actually proposed. It seems to be quite a popular question!

XOXO, G. 

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