Many called me impulsive, overly-ambitious and basically downright insane to plan my wedding during COVID-19.
“You realise we’re smack in the middle of a global pandemic? Aaaand you’re also juggling getting your masters degree and a full-time job?”
“And you think NOW is a great time to get married?? In 3 f*cking months?!”
“OMG, GERAAAA!!!”
It really wasn’t easy. There were countless times I questioned my own sanity too. 🧐 (To be fair, I question my own sanity even before this wedding planning thing…)
But one thing I didn’t question for a single second – was how incredibly blessed I was throughout it all. ❤️😊 Because I had the most perfect wedding I could’ve imagined and no matter what happens in the future, I’d always have those incredible memories to hold.
Disclaimer: It was perfect to me in my own way 🌻 Might not be textbook perfect, but that was never what makes people happy anyway.
And that’s what I think was the most important thing –
#1 Do What Makes YOU Happy
No one else is getting married – just you and your partner.
No one else is going to be living the rest of the lives in the marriage – just you and your partner.
If there was anything that governed a heck load of my decision-making throughout the 3 months I planned my wedding, it was always the key question I asked myself, “Does this make me happy?”
Then the entire process becomes so much more enjoyable; you become excited about going for dress-fittings, about shedding some weight and whatever.
Most importantly – it makes you a lot mentally and psychologically stronger for all the uncertainties this period of COVID-19 brings.
#2 Don’t Put In Too Much Effort
I know some of you might be thinking, “Are you kidding?! It’s a once in a lifetime event! It deserves EVERY OUNCE OF EFFORT IN MY BODYYY!!”
While I agree it’s a (preferably) once in a lifetime event… (hey, realistically-speaking.. we all know it’s not a 100% once-in-a-lifetime. Otherwise there’d be absolutely no divorces/2nd, 3rd, 4th… nth marriages and so on) But it’s also not the only event in your life.
You have a lot more in life that likely needs a lot more energy. Your wedding day isn’t the destination – in fact, it’s actually just the start.
If anything, it’s almost like the opening ceremony of a new chapter.
It’s also a way of safeguarding yourself against being just a bride – then after the wedding, you won’t suddenly lose a large part of yourself when that bride becomes someone’s wife; which is usually not as glamorous or exciting a role. If you were too hyped up on being the bride, you might just set the stage to being resentful of being the wife.
And this is especially applicable during COVID-19, because things could change at any time.
During such an unprecedented time, everything is crazy volatile. Which leads me to my next point…
#3 Have More Than One (or Two) Plans
Miiiiight contradict with #2 just a tad… 😅
But when you’re planning any event in a situation like a global pandemic, Murphy’s Law is extremely applicable.
Back when I was planning between end-October 2020 to January 2021, I had a few plans:
- 50 guests plan
- 100 guests plan
- ROM & Solemnisation plan
- Only ROM plan
And each of them were designed in a way that we’d be totally happy, no matter which one actually happened.
Of course it’s only human to have a preferred one – but you need to be realistic and do a little give & take here.
And you need to constantly remind yourself – the wedding is just 1 event toward the rest of your lives.
#4 See the Perks of the Situation
Haha I realise I sound a little zek ak here… 😂 but I somehow found great perks to having a wedding during COVID period.
- You enjoy some pretty great prices!
Mark was already expecting to bleed quite a bit – given that I refused to go for a bridal studio package and I have a knack for picking the expensive things.
But we were blessed in the sense that many vendors were giving out discounts during COVID-19! So, while he still bled… it was a lot more manageable. 😬 - You only have people that genuinely matter
This alone, was a huge winning factor for me.
I so dreaded having to invite people that I don’t know/like to a day I prefer to be joyous… that the limitations imposed on the guest list turned out to be a huge blessing for me! (Sorry if I’m being too brutally blunt here)
Our 10th year anniversary fell on a Thursday, and I wanted a lunch because I love natural sunlight. So, it worked out anyway! The only people that would bother taking time off on a workday to attend my wedding are the people who genuinely care for Mark and me, and are people we want to keep as part of our lives in yearssss to come. 🥰
#5 Surround Yourself Only with Positivity
This also means, be ruthless in cutting out negativity.
It takes lots of guts, determination, self-respect and self-esteem to basically tell all the toxins in your life to take a hike and never come back. 👋🏻
You, and only you, are responsible and capable of truly protecting yourself. So, choose to only be around people who want you to be happy as a person and grow as an individual.
I used to be extra kind and overly forgiving toward people who bullied me because of their own personal issues, but I dropped that.
I used to close both eyes (and ears) toward situations which were less-than-pleasing, even though it caused me distress. But I stopped choosing to ignore; I chose to leave entirely.
Whether directly or indirectly related to your wedding, these are little things that gnaw at your well-being and that’s just a no-no.
#6 Your Wedding Isn’t Just Your Wedding
What actually made my wedding perfect to me was because it wasn’t just a wedding to me.
Other than it being a celebration of our marriage, there are other memories I hold incredibly dear. And wedding or not, those memories mean so much to me.
🙋🏻♀️👰🏻♀️One of my closest friends was my maid-of-honour.
She is one of the most amazing people in the world and the wedding gave me a chance to really show her how important she is to me. But y’know what? Through the wedding, she showed me how much I meant to her instead. No matter my choices, idiosyncrasies or demands – she showed me she was there because she loves me. And no words can describe how precious this is to me.
👩🏻🤝👩🏼 My best friend was my witness.
So her name, NRIC number and signature is right there on our marriage certificate! Haha. My best friend was never just a friend to me, she literally is family to me. I always tell people she is my sister, because she is. So, while Mark chose his mother to be his witness – I chose my family too.
Gosh, I’m beginning to well up just thinking about it. ❤️
Hehe. I sincerely hope all these help any COVID brides-to-be through this trying time! Planning a wedding is hard, planning a wedding during a global pandemic is even harder. But you got this! 💪🏻
XOXO, G.
Gera Shen 