When you’re too nice, you get these monsters.

These couple of months, I’ve had a whirlwind of things happen around me that simply took up too much mental energy, that I didn’t have any left to heal or even find help. 😔 Instead, I’ve just been feeling less than 50% myself lately and just making do.

So, I took a step back to look at all these little hypothetical imps that have been running around wrecking havoc and causing stress every single day – and decided to make monster characters out of them. (These characters suck enough already, so what the hell. Let’s have some fun.)

P.S. They all have ridiculous names… but just humour me. 😁

The Insecure Seatbelt

Ever had those people in your life who are just riddled with insecurities that you’re actually discouraged to be better than them in any way? You simply cannot be smarter, happier, richer, more attractive, more popular etc. – because your lack of actually makes them feel better about themselves.

Simply put – these monsters really doesn’t want you to be positive in any way, because it somehow translates to a negative to them. They’re not happy when you’re happy. On the contrary, they become threatened, jealous and sometimes even toxic.

The Arrogant Socker

Now, this one – really gets your blood boiling at times. Because this one thinks its always right – and even when it’s obvious it’s wrong, it tells you that you could’ve done better to make sure it was right.

What the hell, am I right?

This is the sort of monster that puts its ego wayyyy above all else – including you, your wellbeing and its relationship with you.

The Bitter Gawd

You know the person that always whines about every single stupid thing?

This is the monster that goes to you always playing the victim; always seeking your sympathy because someone did something as trivial as breathe a little more oxygen than them today – and it’s simply not fair!!

Then I was thinking, “Hmm, okay maybe you just really need more oxygen?” (Even though some of us have already been getting lesser oxygen than we need, we make do)

So, me and some other nice people rally together and get this monster its own personal oxygen tank. But, oops – guess what? Monster cannot stand that its suddenly different from everyone and feels like we are singling it out.

Oh-my-gawd.

The User Problemer

Have you ever wondered why some people are your friends? While there are some that want genuine friendship and love you without asking for any benefit – there are some that are there because you’re of use to them.

Think of yourself like a tool, if you will. Whenever you’re not needed, this monster stashes you away in the drawer. Once in a while, you might be checked on just to make sure you’re still useful.

But the only time this monster really engages with you in any way, is because it wants to use you. Because you are a tool. 🔧

In other words, having any ‘relationship’ with you is actually the price they pay for getting some use out of you. You ideally want it the other way around; where you guys have some sort of relationship and you help each other out (2-ways), not monster uses you (1-way).

The Very Visible Cloaker

While this monster was going to be invisible – it fails quite embarrassingly.

This monster is very good at producing quantities of lies, albeit lacking in the quality.

So, it will start by possibly attempting to tell you a white lie. And you’re not a retard, but you might just play along – because you still want to give the monster some face. (Does it deserve it, though? Hmm.)

Anyways. The point is – this monster runs around doing stuff thinking it’s hiding under a cloak of invisibility, but it’s not. If anything, this monster is actually running with a cloak of highlights.

While the lies this monster tells are (mostly) relatively harmless, what hurts you is how its hiding things from you. Because you honestly expected more of the relationship.

So there you have it – 5 monsters! Could probably be a Pixar film.

I’m fairly certain many of us are facing some or all (maybe even more) monsters than these. 🙈🙈

Couple of years ago, I thought it was the right thing to do by being kind and understanding that behind every negative action or word, there’s actually hurt. And I wanted to be nice and empathetic towards people hurting.

But after a series of events (coupled with plenty of mini episodes lately), I’m on the “f**k this shit” train. 💩

Not that I’m no longer empathetic – I’m probably overly empathetic as a person. The only difference is, I have a stronger filter on who I use my empathy on. Most of all, I choose to empathise with myself more now.

If we continue catering to such monsters, these monsters would therefore keep on knocking on our doors (or just knock the door down altogether – hard to say).

Enough of trying to understand and accommodate others. Y’see, I have many battle scars from my past that most thought I should’ve been dead from by now – but I’m definitely not. I’m actually a very happy person. 😋 And I’ve always wanted to help others going through their battles – I wanted to be the person that I needed when I fought my battles. 🤗

But I realised, not everyone deserves nor is accepting of that person.

So, why waste my energy and resources anymore ne? 🤷‍♀️

Time to really work on that self-love thing! Always choose yourself, guys.

P.S. Before anyone starts, please don't waste your energy (and mine) asking me if you're any of those monsters to me - if you find any that might be a reflection of you, you don't need me to affirm that. I'm not telling any names for sure. But hey, if you feel the shoe fits - you're welcome to it. 😎

Thanks for reading~ ❤️

XO, G.