The Monsters in Your Life

I’m not going to lie to you – you will have monsters in your life.

They’re going to seem big, they’re going to seem scary, without ethics or a conscience; some of them seem pure diabolical.

And there’s no absolute shield against them.
You’re going to need to deal with your own monsters.

Some monsters choose to insult you;
only because they can’t stand others complimenting you.

Some monsters choose to hate you;
only because they know they’re not easy to love.

Some monsters choose to speak louder than you;
only because you speak more sense.

Some monsters choose to threaten you;
only because you’ve been a threat to them.

Some monsters choose to discredit you;
only because they fear to be in your shadow.

Some monsters choose to ignore you;
only because they want you to feel as insignificant as you make them feel.

Some monsters choose to outcast you;
only because they’re very much alone deep inside.

And some monsters choose to blame you for anything & everything;
only because they’re finding a convenient distraction.

And you can choose to feel insulted, hated, silenced, threatened, discredited, ignored, outcasted and blamed

However you can also choose to realise that these monsters are just really…
PITIFUL WANKERS!! 😂 😂

It (finally) dawned upon me that truly successfulhappy people in life don’t waste their resources putting people down – they’re constantly looking toward a better future.

…Your monsters (AKA pitiful wankers), on the other hand, are too short-sighted/cowardly/incompetent to see their future. So they constantly look behind and see if there’s anyone they can use as a footstool to prop themselves up – even if it’s for just a while. 😕

But like I said – they’re pitiful.

Once you get past your initial anger (and sometimes amusement, even), you should take a step back and take a good look at your monsters. 👀

You’ll come to realise they’re not that big; they’re not that scary; they’re not that worthy. If they choose to act childishly, then you’re clearly just dealing with a child.

You’ll come to realise that your monsters can choose to be so ugly, but you can choose to be happy regardless.

And while your monsters made the choice to spend time hurting you; they made the choice to neglect other things in their lives as well.

So you shouldn’t make the same choice, yes? 😊

Lately I’ve chosen to love more; love everything, really. Even my monsters! ☝🏻

Because I believe that everyone has some good in them; as minuscule as it might be for some. And I believe that good people turned into monsters because of the scars their monsters left them with.

It’s not going to be easy…

But y’know what?

You might not believe me – but YOU are likely someone’s monster too. 😉

The beggar on the street you blatantly turned away.
The cashier you got impatient with.
The new driver you angrily honked at.

Your child you put second to work.
Your parent you haven’t called in months.
Your friend you didn’t bother catching up with.

We all have monsters in our lives; and we’re all monsters in someone else’s life.

Just try to be a cuter monster? 😋
And maybe this world might become a little better.

Love & Happiness

XOXO, G. 

So My Work Laptop Got Stolen

It was the most horrible feeling.

When it sunk in my head, I was just screaming inside. 😱

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It really wasn’t the laptop itself – it was the invaluable data and work inside it. I had spent endless painful hours on a number of projects and it killed me knowing that I lost it all.

Especially for one particular project – I literally worked through an entire month; weekends included.

And no, I didn’t do any backup. 😞 Because I was just so busy and kept on going & going…
Stupid of me. Shame on me.

And it was absolutely insane!!!

I wanted to kill the thief SO BADLY!!

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And at the same time, I went all, “I always return valuables that I find!!! Why does this happen to me??” *breaks into hysterical cries*

But then a close friend of mine said the truest words, “Your mistake is thinking that everyone is as kind and nice as you are.”

Honestly don’t think he thought of that himself luh… Swear I read it in a book somewhere. Lol.

The aftermath of the theft just led to a lot of mess for me…

I knew I had to clean up a lot of mess with work – I had deadlines to meet. It’s not my clients’ problems that I lost my laptop; they still want their deliverables.

I was already utterly exhausted and worn out… but because of this incident, I had to go through all of it again; but at a faster speed, because time was already lost.

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Immediately after informing the building management, I headed down to the police station to make a report.

And this was what went down… It’s a good thing she burst out in laughter and went on about how adorable I am… but I genuinely couldn’t stand seeing my statement having those errors… 😅

But after all the craziness settled; I realised just how blessed I am.

#1 An old friend works around the area; he came down to meet me and really helped to distract me and calm me down with his jokes. 😂

#2 When I posted what happened on Facebook, I received messages and calls from friends who tried to cheer me up. 😍 Super precious! You guys have no idea how much that meant to me.

#3 My boss wasn’t angry with me; he was just worried about how I’m going to manage the workload, and immediately requested for more time from the clients for me. ☺️

#4 I cried at the police station, but realised that my problem was absolutely trivial compared to others’… And that sort of calmed me down significantly. Like, honestly… What do I really have to panic about? I just have to put in more hours, sweat & tears, dig into my memory a little bit…

Other people had huge problems that made mine seem like I was complaining that someone stole my lollipop.

And anyway, this went down at my police station visit.

#5 When I got back to the office, my partner J pulled out Hokkaido cheesecake for me! 😋 I was told he specially went out to get it for me, to cheer me up.

#6 And when I got home late, Mark whipped up his awesome pasta! Really, he makes good pasta. 👍🏻🍝  And he even threw in my favourite crab sticks! He stayed up to sit with me in the kitchen at 12:15AM on a work night. ❤️

Through all this, I realised that like J said, I always overreact. 😑

And as much as I always say I’m used to being alone – I cannot deny that having some love from others (especially in such a harrowing situation), was quite literally a lifesaver.

Everyone made it so easy for me. And for that, I’m endlessly grateful. 😚

Maybe being a tad reliant on people for care & love isn’t as scary as I think it is.

I lost my laptop about 2 weeks ago – and since then, no news. I’ve already accepted that I won’t ever be getting it back… but it’s okay. I managed to work through it all – my memory served me quite well. 😬✌🏻 And it’s through such times that I open my eyes to the genuine care people express.

And I believe in karma! And for all I know… maybe that person desperately needed a quick buck for a life or death situation.

So I don’t choose to be angry, devastated or vengeful over this. You’d think that through something like this, I’d lose faith in humanity.

But, no. If anything at all, it made me believe in it even more.

So in a way, I’d like to thank God for letting this happen…
Albeit when it happened I was all, “Why, God?! Why, why, why?? Is it because I didn’t go church for the past lifetime??” 😂

I choose to keep this as memory to the awesome people I have around me; my background isn’t very pretty, but I think the picture painted in front is absolutely beautiful ☺️ And I wouldn’t trade this canvas for anything else in the world.

XOXO. G. 

Broke up with a friend; couldn’t be happier!

Hello, world!
How have you been lately?

So just a couple of weeks ago, I actually broke a friendship

If you asked me some years ago about how I felt about this – I’d probably be all, “Omg, this is horrible! We need to make up!”

But right now? I honestly never felt BETTER!!! 😌😌😌

happy to lose a friend

You might think that I’m a horrible person… And sometimes I won’t disagree with you. 😂
But for this particular friendship… Losing this friend was really more of a gain in my life!

In this post, I’m not going to reveal names or anything related to real identities. Heck, I won’t even mention the gender. 😉 You just enjoy the story, yea?

So Ex-F (actually stands for ex-‘friend’; but ‘F’ can be so many things! So you let your imagination go there; ex-friend, ex-f**ker, ex-fiend, ex-figglybooboo…) was someone who I got to see quite often and was honestly one of the most self-loving self-obsessed people I knew.

In a nutshell, Ex-F is the sort that will go, “If you cannot accept me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Yeaaaa 😒 

Ex-F’s worst was something like, “YOU STUPID, UGLY BITCH! I don’t care what you say!!! I WANT IT MY WAYYY!!!” 

While the best was something like, “I’m in a good mood today. You can bring me to this restaurant. Don’t I look wonderful??”

*PUKESSS*

Ex-F often self-proclaimed him/herself on a daily basis as high-class (quite an oxymoron, if you have to proclaim it for yourself…)good GREAT-looking and talented.

It was unbelievably annoying.

bitch please little mermaid

While I admire self-confidence; I don’t appreciate self-delusion or unfounded arrogance.

Since we’re no longer friends; I don’t see the point of maintaining any loyalty. The truth is… Ex-F is one of the weirdest-looking people I’ve set my eyes on! Ex-F has this look that is really neither here nor there… but that’s just my own opinion; and some people do like a unique look.

However Ex-F the most unclassy personality as well.

Ex-F actually flaunted that he/she had a fling with a married person. Wtf?!

And Ex-F even went on and on about how the fling’s spouse couldn’t even compare… Wa lao, seriously. 😒 I was actually super turned off back then. Cheating, no matter how right it feels, shouldn’t be something you show off like a prize in your trophy cabinet.

shoot yourself in the head and put it on youtube

It was awfully tiring being Ex-F’s friend… His/her typical dialogue goes like this…

Ex-F: Omg, look at that woman! How UGLYYYY!!!! I pity her husband…

Ex-F: Look at that fat bitch. Ugh. I’m not going to attend the party if she is there! I don’t party with lame people.

Ex-F: Did you see my latest Facebook profile picture? Why didn’t you ‘like’ it? 

All of this, I attributed to severely low self-esteem that caused the need to put others down to feel better about one’s self.

And all of that was just so tiring to maintain. 😩

tired bored sleepy

Sincere apologies – but at this age… I don’t give a royal rat’s ass about entertaining such idiots anymore.

And Ex-F even tried to get other people to ‘hate on me’; but it just made me happy:

  1. Ex-F is indeed a horribly toxic person to have in your life
  2. Those people are like Ex-F; so lesser people to give a shit about

People like that don’t realise…

Friendships don’t exist to only validate their existence and perceived values; friendships are a two-way traffic and are not meant for one-sided worship. That, will be idolisingNOT friendship.

And friendships are often reflections of what really matters to you as a person deep down. How your friends are; what they say, how they act and what they do – are clear indications of what you like to have in your life.

Don’t be shy about kicking out toxic people in your life; because life is too short to eat shitty food and hang around with shitty people. If you have so much time to entertain such wankers, go discover a cure for cancer or something.

So really be careful of who you choose to surround yourself with; because you gradually become like them. 😌 Don’t waste your precious time entertaining such people, when you could be loving those who are worth it.

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XOXO, G. 

What you must do with toxic wankers in your life

Like it or not – your life inevitably has at least ONE toxic wanker. In fact, if you only have one – you’re leading a great life! 😄

I call them ‘wankers’ because I think people who even bother being so toxic to another person, is often lonely and/or satisfied at night when they go to sleep.

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So they often have to DIY – aka ‘wank’. Thereby making them ‘wankers’. 😁

That being said; not everyone who wanks is a bad person!

Sure – wankers is a term typically for men. But in this post of mine, we’ll make it a unisex term. 😉

#1 Realise they’re toxic

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This might sound like common sense – but many times we fail to actually do it.

You might hate whatever the wanker just did/say; but you you need to actually know for certain that the wanker is toxic, therefore you shouldn’t be consuming anything from this wanker.

Everything toxic wankers spew out is just poisonous sewage brewed from the depths of their pitiful, insecure and shallow excuse-of-a-heart.

So don’t take it personally. 😉 It’s not you; it’s that bloody toxic wanker.

#2 Remember you’re human

Now the next common sense move.

Being human, you need to give yourself the space and permission to be upset about what the toxic wanker did to you. It’s only natural – it’s only proof that you care about yourself and you possess a decent amount of faith in humanity.

So be sad. 😢
Be angry. 😡
Be disgusted & appalled at how toxic some people can be. 😱

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Then time to get over it!

Cry a little if it makes you feel better. Rant and vent to someone close. Then it’s time to move on.

Because, baby, that wanker isn’t worth too much time. The time you spent being upset was for you to heal; no amount of time should be spent exclusively for that wanker.

#3 Auto-correct whatever they say/do in your head

Our smartphones are doing splendidly well in this area – sometimes too well. 😒

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So we need to have the same feature!

Whatever they say/do in future just becomes corrected into their true intentions!

Example: a toxic wanker says, “You’re so ugly.”
It corrects to, “Let me put you down so I can feel like I’m better-looking; because my mirror doesn’t agree with me.”

Example: toxic wanker goes, “Whatever you’re doing isn’t appreciated!”
It corrects to, “I need to put you down so I can think more highly of what I do!”

It’s really not too difficult.

But remember though, there’s a difference between constructive feedback and destructive comments.

You’ll come to realise that a toxic wanker never provides constructive feedback because they only care about themselves – so there’s no way in hell they’d give you any way to improve.

Therefore whatever they say isn’t of any value at all.

#4 Actually feel sorry for the wanker

After you’re done with all that and look at things in retrospect, you’ll sometimes actually start to feel sorry for the toxic wanker.

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Because this wanker had to go to such low levels to just attempt to make himself/herself feel better.

And if you really think about it – you have to be of higher standards than a wanker for the wanker to want to feed you toxins.

#5 Be a classic bitch about it (not applicable to all)

Well, apparently many people end at #4. But I somehow will stop feeling sorry for the wanker in about 2 minutes – then just feel like such filth should be wiped off the face of the earth.

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Such people really shouldn’t exist. Ugh.

Be happy, guys! 😃

Till next time.

XOXO,
G.

3 Reasons Why We Don’t Bother Saying Anything…

Some people would call it an Asian thing when we don’t say a word when we don’t agree with something.

Well, I know there are a few reasons why I just smile and don’t say anything…

mm hmm

…no matter how much I’m screaming in disagreement inside.

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#1 I’m Just Being Polite

Maybe Asians tend to appear more polite because we keep quiet…

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But really, half the time when I’m quiet… Is because I’d like to give a minimal basic respect for what you just said. Maybe you had your own share of experiences, knowledge…

At the very least your impeccable level of idiocy deserves some respect as well.

#2 The Energy Spent Explaining Why I Disagree Just Isn’t Worth It 

Because life is too short as it is. It’s simple math, really.

not worth it

And if I think you’re an idiot, there’s no way I’d bother spending any time trying to make you see my point-of-view – because to me, you might not even be able to comprehend it.

#3 I’m Simply Too Stunned By Your Stupidity To Say Anything

Just never thought anyone so dumb could exist.

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XOXO, G. 

From One Bereaved Daughter to Another

Just some time back I was talking to a friend who had lost her father.

It was both easy & difficult for me. Easy because I knew somewhat what she was going through, I lost my own Daddy when I was a little one. Difficult because it tore me apart every time; while I was typing consoling messages to her, I was behind the screen weeping a river.

And no one else really understands.

Time Stops For You

Because it just seems like a very long and scary nightmare.

I’m always looking back into my past. I always revisit my collection of memories with him – simply because I miss him so much and I can never get over his death.

Maybe time stopped for me on its own – but part of me knows that I stopped it on my own. The future cannot be any good without him inside.

No Evidence Is Enough To Convince You He’s Really Gone

In my mind, he’s still alive. He’s just home late, really late.

There’s no way my daddy would leave me. He loved me more than anything in the world. He promised me that he would take care of me forever.

He didn’t see me at my kindergarten concert yet. He didn’t go ballistic at my first boyfriend yet. He didn’t scream at my grades. He didn’t video my graduation ceremony. He didn’t send me to my first job. He didn’t walk me down the aisle. He didn’t dance with me at my wedding. He didn’t get to see his grandchild.

He didn’t do all those things and more… How could he be gone?

You Might Even Begin To Hate Him For Leaving

Like, how dare he? Life isn’t so great as it is – now you have to face it alone.

I would visit him once in a while. I’d stand there and scold him for leaving me alone while crying. I’d complain about all the sufferings I went through since he was gone – and then tell him if he wasn’t gone, I’d be so much happier.

I know he didn’t want to go… but he did anyway. And I know it isn’t his fault either… but I blame him anyway.

You Start Envying Other Children With Fathers

Other fathers can do the simplest things and it was prick me a little.

Fathers driving up the school foyer to pick up their daughters. Fathers hugging & kissing their daughters goodbye. Fathers & daughters sharing a meal. Fathers smiling.

It all still hurts.

It’s been over 20 years. And it still does.

Diabolical People Take Cheap Shots At You

Really. I never expected people to be so nasty, but there really are wankers like that out there.

“Sheesh. Get over it.” Really? Do you really know what you’re talking about?

“So you’re just a girl with really bad daddy issues.” Apparently, yes. And somehow people have labelled me a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ whenever I got happy over a boy, because I have daddy issues.

But that’s life, really.

Meh.

However everyday I count my blessings that once upon a time in my life, I had this awesome man as my daddy – and he loved me.

The hardest part of letting him go was realising that I had no other choice.

Time doesn’t really heal a wound like that – I’ll be honest. It’s really getting off your ass and moving on. It’s about living for the living, not the dead.

It’s realising that accepting his death is not an end of your love for him – rather a lease on the eternity of it. 😉

Okay, I have to stop here. Positively bawling my eyes out here. Emptied a box of good 3-ply tissues… :O

I’ll end right here with my picture of my handsome daddy! ❤

Celebrating my 1st birthday at Westin!
Celebrating my 1st birthday at Westin!

XOXO, G.

Why Attached Friends Make The BEST Or WORST Friends

friendshipPhoto Credit: https://twobirdsonestonewedding.wordpress.com

We all have that friend who was once upon a time super close to you when he/she was single or just flinging around – then as time went by, decided to be in a serious relationship. And then they start to drift away…

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Now, because you’re all-so-mature… You realise that time, love and energy is going to be divided now.

However friends who are attached can really either be your best friend or worst one.

With one very simple reason:

You will know clearly how much you really matter to them.

Continue reading Why Attached Friends Make The BEST Or WORST Friends