Constipation Is SUCH A Pain. Urgh.

Seems like many people were intrigued by my laxative visit to Watson’s that day.

I shared the story in detail with a friend and realised it was actually pretty hilarious shit. So this is how the whole story went… Inclusive of some extra bits here & there.

So here’s how my horrid constipation started:

Mark surprised me one day by telling me he booked a short getaway, which I was soooo touched by. He actually spent majority of his internship money on this.

It was a reward for having the guts to actually leave Groupon (I was having a SUPER fickle time), landing an awesome new job and our Valentine’s Day gift.

However when we were there, I didn’t have my Yakult (mandatory daily intake of mine), drank only about 1L of plain water over 3 days, drank A LOT of soft drinks and gobbled down heaps of oily food like no tomorrow.

So since my return from Batam, I got REALLY bloated & constipated that it hurt. I decided to head down to Watson’s one day after work.

I walked around and was too distracted looking at cosmetics and hair care to really look for what I went for. To increase efficiency, I decided asking a Watson’s staff might actually be helpful.

At least she/he would just PULL me away to what I want to buy, right?

Me: Hi! Do you know where the laxatives are? 

Staff: Huh? What? 

Me: Laxatives. 

Staff: What is that?

My immediate reaction…

Staff: What do you need it for? 

Me: Er, I need to go to the toilet…? 

Staff: Just outside, miss. Don’t need to tell me. 

The bitch had the audacity to even give me the “Sheesh, you’re weird” face.

Hello, lady. I’m not the weird one. It’s not my fault that you’re not informed about the common drugs available in a drugstore (which, by the way, you’re working in!). Pfft.

Me: No, no… I need to shit. 

Staff: …. 

Me: Shit. You know, shit? Like bowel movements? Pang sai? Da bian? 

Staff: Er…

And then she looked at her colleague and gave her this “WTF?!” expression. It was then I realised…

So I tried as hard as I could to make myself sound as idiotic as possible. I guess that’s the only way I could get across right? I had to bring myself to her level.

Me: Okay. My poo poo no good. I need medicine to make my poo poo good. You have?

Staff: Ah!! Yes yes, come come!

Call me a bitch or whatever. I was exhausted from work, I had a painful tummy and I still had to deal with that kind of shit… Once I paid for my stuff, I went all…

And left.

I also realised that I should’ve just gone to search for it myself. With all the time I spent trying to communicate with that woman, I would’ve found the laxative on my own and saved myself the agony of having to deal with idiocy.

So yes, I was an idiot as well.

If anyone is really interested about how I’m feeling versus what happened at Watson’s, I had to go the doctor because the laxative wasn’t working entirely. But I’m good now!

Every time I just sit on the white throne and…

Heh. Tip by my dear musical friend, Wenfu… Just let it goooo.

Everyone remember to drink LOTS of water! I really felt awful the past few days.

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